We extend a special welcome to those who are single, married, divorced, lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, trans-gender, trans-sexual, a-sexual, pan-sexual, cisgender, filthy rich, dirt poor, “ne parle pas Anglais” or have no idea what most of those terms mean.
We extend a special welcome to those who have crying babies or are crying new-borns, skinny as a rail or could afford to lose a few pounds.
We welcome you if you can sing like Taylor Swift or if you can’t carry a note in a bucket. You’re welcome here if you’re “just browsing,” just woke up or just got out of jail. We don’t care if you’re more Catholic than the Pope, or haven’t been in church since little Joey’s Baptism.
We extend a special welcome to those who are over 60 but not grown up yet, and to teenagers who are growing up too fast.
We welcome soccer dads, hockey moms, starving artists, tree-huggers, latte-sippers, vegetarians, junk-food eaters, students, teachers and even guidance counsellors.
We welcome those who are in recovery or still addicted.
We welcome you if you’re having problems or you’re down in the dumps or if you don’t like “organized religion”… we’ve been there too.
If you blew all your offering money at the casino in Hull, you’re still welcome here.
We offer a special welcome to those who think the earth is flat, work too hard, don’t work, can’t spell, or are here just because mom or grandma is in town and wanted to go to church.
We welcome those who are inked, pierced cut or all the above.
We offer a special welcome to those who could use a prayer right now, had religion shoved down your throat as a kid or got lost in traffic and wound up here by mistake.
We welcome tourists, seekers and doubters, bleeding hearts … and YOU!
Thanks to Marlene and her home church, the St. Andrew’s Stittsville Youth Group and Frederick Banting Alternative High School Diversity Group for helping to craft this welcome and explaining the meaning of all these terms to the minister!